Let me speak

By Asma Firdous

Drug me

let me drown

in those deadly flavours

that they call haraam!

 

Fill the glass

with toxic formulas

and leave no drop behind…

 

Let my words flutter

let my tongue untie

in that crude language

it finds something divine

 

Let me lose my senses

they never served me truth

let me turn blind to the world

forget the flowers or weeds

this moment let me be me!

 

In such an induced trance

let me speak

shout or wail

set me free

to kill or save

the one I enslave

in my frail and weak bones

in my coward heart!

 

Let me say some words of illegal

wisdom

spill out some secrets

confess some sins

ruin my world.

 

Let me speak of love unknown

express my hidden desires

my lustful dreams and wishes

my divine sacrifices!

 

Let me free to wail

on my slavery

an enchanted freedom

the victimhood I deny!

 

Let me cry all tears

let me shout all anger

let me whisper love

the sacred desire….

 

And if I turn silent

empty your glass in me

do whatever it takes

to make me speak again

 

Let me talk

of that secret goodness

of the stolen memories

of those lies I have told myself

 

Let me talk

of the betrayals

that came from generous friends and

foes

and the generous me

 

I might laugh

while I cry loud

I might seem mad

while I talk wise

and when I stop

 

And you see my eternal stories end

take them away

and sing some old lullabies

some songs of silence

let me fall asleep

 

And while I sleep

find some age old dagger

that’s been left untouched

and its histories forgotten

clean the dust of times

 

Let it shine

enough to quell

the darkness of the moonless nights!

 

And when I wake up

to this strange smile

spare no time

and get that dagger

grip it hard we love

and stab me in my heart!

 

Let me hold the dagger with you

so no crime happens

but stab my heart!

 

Fear not!

Am not dead

you just broke my chains

freed me eternal

fear not this memory

for the one you heard

the one you saw

you are doomed to forget!

(The poet is pursuing bachelors in Horticulture at SKUAST-K.)