Enam Lone
Our inferiority complex largely derives its proteins from two things: first, our assumption that everyone is mindful of us; of our looks, activities, failures (if not successes), economy, clothes, behaviour etc. We assume that everyone ‘thinks’ about us more than anything else, and that when they do, they do so ‘collectively’ rather than individually, and critically rather than neutrally, that when we walk past a group of them, they will definitely be reviling and ridiculing us and that these ‘anti-us’ thoughts will come to their minds ‘simultaneously’. As if they constitute a parliament of brains assigned the exclusive task of passing resolutions, by any majority, to condemn our existence on a collective level.
Realistically speaking, there’s never a collective consensus that people have about you as long as you are a common man, neither famous for exquisite bravery nor infamous for extreme brutality. Everyone sees you through their own individual glasses, if at all they do. Some may be clear, some blurred. And logically that is, in no way, your problem. And by no means, under your control. As such, it’s sheer absurdity, albeit a rampant human trait, to worry about the ‘collective others’ and their thoughts regarding you. What should matter instead is the ‘individual you’.
Second, comparing yourself with others. Ingratitude, as an innate human attribute, always keeps us busy with comparisons of all stupid sorts. These comparisons dilute the value of our possessions and make them look meagre and mean. While they further the sense of our incapacity and deprivations. They are mostly destructive to our personality. Whenever we come across people having something ‘apparently perfect’ than us, we cry upon our ‘misery’ and the ‘injustice’ done to us by the Divine Judiciary. Why me? we fret, frown and wail. Our ingratitude and insecurities instil the sense of inferiority into us. They prevent us from acknowledging the universal quality of imperfection of humans. Of the fact that nobody is perfect.
That everyone has flaws. Yours maybe more apparent or more superficial than others’ but flaws, they too have. Maybe much more grave than yours, who knows upon a cursory sight! Flaws need not necessarily be evident like bodily or economical or materialistic, they may well be obscured like those of intention, character, morality, manners, happiness, contentment, peace of mind and others. But when you keep counting and recounting your ‘relative’ shortcomings, flaws and keep cursing yourself thereof, they only seem to multiply, and thus infuriate your sense of lowness further. This is a vicious cycle of self imposed punishments and self-destruction. And it can only get worse with time.
True happiness lies in contentment, and contentment is seriously hurt by the inferiority complex. It robs you of much more than just your confidence. You lose your peace of mind, the sense of satisfaction, the reasons to be grateful. In other words, you lose life itself.
If, thus, you are caught up in this whirling hurricane, know that you are being burdened either by worrying too much about others’ opinion or by all those comparisons you keep drawing up all the time. These loads are making you vulnerable to the storm. Cut them off and, congratulations, you are alive!
An Engineer by profession, Enam interests in Literature.
